tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post3933830213836637860..comments2023-10-23T12:14:23.800-06:00Comments on Bare Naked Nate: My Suicide Note: How I Almost Became a StatisticNaked Natehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-48634383110266883392018-05-24T08:40:26.534-06:002018-05-24T08:40:26.534-06:00This is beautiful. Thank you so much for your pers...This is beautiful. Thank you so much for your perspective and insight. You have taught me some important things and I am grateful.Jen Garffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00060950322198651538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-47409062707817563182017-08-10T18:50:51.039-06:002017-08-10T18:50:51.039-06:00I'm just now seeing this, sorry for the delaye...I'm just now seeing this, sorry for the delayed reply. What you said just made me feel so good. Sometimes, I don't feel that sense of influence and accomplishment, so it's a nice reminder.<br /><br />I agree with your thoughts. This younger generation gets a bad rap. Sometimes, it's deserved, haha! Gen X rules!! But you're right, they're more open to the world in which they exist.<br /><br />Friend me on FB if you haven't already. I'm not quite sure who this is, but I'd love to be acquainted. Thanks again for the incredibly kind words. Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-10326618011049649992017-07-24T17:50:56.582-06:002017-07-24T17:50:56.582-06:00I graduated from your high school in '98, a fe...I graduated from your high school in '98, a few years after you, but your accomplishments were so impressive, that your legend percolated through those halls long after you left. We were aware of you during my time there. I'm truly sorry to hear that the driving force behind your achievements was such a negative one. I know that most everyone in high school is desperately trying to hide their vulnerable parts. But honestly, much of what I accomplished in my time at high school was also driven by my insecurities and the desire to overcompensate for my failings. It makes me wonder how common that is. I usually assume that accomplishments are the result of nothing but talent and hard work.<br /><br />One of my favorite things about this new generation of kids in school--"milenials" or what-have-you--is how much more accepting they are of their peers. My own quirky, autistic children have encountered far less bullying, and far more compassion, than I expected. I pray that will continue as they move through the rest of their school years. <br /><br />I deeply appreciate what you've said here. Without condemning anyone in any position of this issue, you've done a beautiful job of showing us the other side and asking us all to be civil and understanding. And my very real hope is that this new generation of kids--with all the flack they receive for being so focused on individuals--is better prepared than we were to answer these "tricky" dilemmas in a way that provides peace and hope for all. <br /><br />Lynnershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16684176598382353272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-87771777759918547332016-10-08T16:30:29.713-06:002016-10-08T16:30:29.713-06:00I LOVE the way you expressed your thoughts. The me...I LOVE the way you expressed your thoughts. The message your bishop sent is so dangerous and it's easy to see why so many of our youth are taking their own lives. They're being taught differently than you were taught by your mother, only to go behind closed doors in the bishop's office and be told some really destructive things. I'm in total agreement with you that there are so many amazing LDS people who can observe what they believe WHILE reaching out to and loving people like me at the same time. There is much goodness in the church, for sure. I have to remind myself of that regularly.<br /><br />Thank you, Courtney.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-9289171283369898332016-10-08T16:25:52.339-06:002016-10-08T16:25:52.339-06:00Kimberly, it sounds like your brother is extremely...Kimberly, it sounds like your brother is extremely lucky to have you as a sister. My prayer for all gay people in the church is that they have at least one family member who will show up the way you have. And yeah, the whole purpose of my blog is show to people that coming out as gay doesn't mean that you lose your spirituality. The gay people I associate with and call friends are some of the most spiritually grounded people I know. Continue to be a support to your bro, but you're right, he's been at this long enough to know what's best for him and what direction his life should go. Your job isn't to get him back to church or to maintain his testimony. It's simply to love him, and it sounds like you're doing an awesome job. Hugs!Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-69277127021607443602016-10-08T16:19:13.465-06:002016-10-08T16:19:13.465-06:00Beautifully expressed. I couldn't agree more. ...Beautifully expressed. I couldn't agree more. Thanks for sharing, Anonymous. Sorry it took me forever to reply.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-74035886209674725222016-09-21T12:11:32.127-06:002016-09-21T12:11:32.127-06:00Thanks for sharing.
Gay or Straight, many of us ...Thanks for sharing. <br /><br />Gay or Straight, many of us carry burdens that are not publicized, and that only God knows about (not even a spouse). Those burdens may not be LGBT, sexual orientation, or something similar, but often they are just as heavy as the experience you've described. That includes thoughts of loss, anxiety, addiction, health, guilt, or suicide. If anything, when you've had to personally experience carrying such a burden, your eyes become opened, and you become a lot more forgiving, and and a lot more empathetic. And, I don't think it i necessarily wrong to feel angry and wronged at times.<br /><br />I place a lot of of hope in the fact that although things aren't perfect, that God is a just, fair judge, that Jesus actually personally knows our burden and is our advocate, and that after this probationary period (during which we are entitled to be happy), that our understanding will be made clear with a greater, more mature perspective.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-72700227652857899352016-09-14T07:21:41.844-06:002016-09-14T07:21:41.844-06:00I love this, so many different perspectives I have...I love this, so many different perspectives I haven't thought of before. I especially like the idea of listening to conference from the perspective of LGBT. It's difficult as an active heterosexual to grasp how to combine our testimony and love of the church and the good that it does with truly loving all of our neighbors and wanting the same happy and fulfilled life for them that we all desire in the church (or out). I personally don't want to see my gay brothers and sisters unhappy or excluded.<br />I have a 50 year old (being gay was not discussed really in our time) gay brother who chose to leave the church about the same time he chose to fully embrace being and living as a gay man and marrying his now husband. But before all of that he reminds me so much of how you sounded growing up, amazing overachiever and pretending he was not gay. He was an amazing missionary and example to me with a genuine and strong testimony of the gospel but since he left he denies that the church is true now. But I often wonder if gays had been more accepted and allowed to more fully participate in church if he would still be active, my guess would be that he would. I really appreciated your comments about how much your sister has been there for you and I hope I can be the same for him. I was the first person he came out to in the family and we can discuss and share our lives but there is still a "don't ask don't tell" life he is hiding when it comes to my dad and some extended family members. I think that would be painful and hard. But we have talked about it and I feel bad that he doesn't feel comfortable fully sharing his life with everyone in the family, I do somewhat understand why he has chosen it and I respect his decision. My dad would not disown or be hateful or anything, it's just that we were not very open family in sharing and discussing very personal things with our parents (they were still good to us in many other ways) so my brother doesn't feel a need to do so now.<br />But an area we avoid discussing much of is the church. I think this is partly because I am an active member of the church but honestly also because I don't really want to get into some of the deep discussions that could turn into arguments about the basic tenets of the church that make it true. (You know the whole adage of not discussing church and politics with friends and family can be a good advice at times), but I still wish we could somehow have that conversation even though I also want to avoid it. But one of the main reasons I avoid it is because although I truly feel and know that living the gospel truly brings peace for me, I also see the happiness and peace he has from choosing to live his life being married to his husband and that makes me happy for him and I'm not sure how the church would fit in with that. But the part of your post that really resonated with me and got me thinking about this more was that you said your spirituality is also a very important part of who you are, not just your sexuality. I realize a person can and does have spirituality outside of the church, I do personally think there can be another level of spirituality that comes from within the church too and I can tell he misses that spirituality. I want to reassure and tell him he can still have a testimony and be a part of church but I'm not really sure how. I don't want him to feel shamed and not fully accepted as a member. I'm not sure why I'm writing this honestly, he's a grown adult who knows what's right for him, your post just got me thinking more about it and I'm just talking out loud. Thank you for sharing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05378612495695314710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-66429357915889217282016-08-02T16:13:48.712-06:002016-08-02T16:13:48.712-06:00I was baptized at 8 because that's just what y...I was baptized at 8 because that's just what you do in Utah, whether your family is active or not. My parents didn't go to church so I always felt like an outcast, but I was interested in religion and tried to go to church services. It was so very clique-ish that I felt very uncomfortable and stopped going (this was during the teen years when everything social is hard anyway). My mom had always taught us that gay people were just people and that the LDS church was wrong in the way they treated them (these discussions happened in the 80s), and that always stuck with me. So much so that when I had an interview with my bishop (around 13? is that the normal age?) I asked him why god would put gay people on the earth if they were abominations. He fed me the bull about how everyone makes a choice about what sort of life they want to live before they come to earth and those people chose a life of hardship. I asked why they were persecuted for choices they didn't know they made before they were even put on earth, and why would that be a choice if god wouldn't accept them back into heaven for making it? I was NOT satisfied with the answers I received and never went back. And I fully believe that bishop from Roy has believed ever since that I am a raging lesbian. It must have been a big surprise when I got married to a man, but not a surprise when I had my name removed from the church rolls when I was 24.<br /><br />Anyway, all of this is a long way of saying I've never had much faith in the LDS religion. I was taught of its fallacies from the beginning. But I was also taught that not all of the people were bigots. There are some truly amazing LDS people in the world, who take the wonderful tenets of the religion and apply them to their lives as Christ would. I think it's wonderful that you have shared your journey with us as you struggle to find your place in a religion you have believed so strongly in because I have never felt that strongly about anything. I admire people who can have faith because I am so cynical and unbelieving. I appreciate you reminding me of the good things the church does rather than all the hateful things I hear about.<br /><br />This was INCREDIBLY long, but, again, I appreciate you sharing your journey. I think we're all learning something along the way. :)Courtney H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12227597438416565610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-21837747502120134332016-07-28T23:15:46.148-06:002016-07-28T23:15:46.148-06:00Shayn, great insights! Thank you for sharing. I...Shayn, great insights! Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that you were made to feel so unworthy. There are some in the church who equate a strong sex drive as sinful. And yet, the church teaches that as long as these desires are explored within a heterosexual marriage, it's all good. But even within marriages, I'm sure there are many who limit what they'd like to do based on what they think the church expects. I guess that main distinction that I could draw here, although you make an excellent point, is that if two teenagers have pre-marital sex and become pregnant, they can still move forward, get married, get sealed one day and remain in the church. But as soon as I decide to have sex with my someday husband, the conversation is over. I'm ex'd. Anyway, we could go on and on about this topic, but I hear you, Shayn. Thanks again for sharing.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-76754779798601295702016-07-28T23:10:56.950-06:002016-07-28T23:10:56.950-06:00Thanks for asking, Anonymous. For starters, I'...Thanks for asking, Anonymous. For starters, I'd like to not be referred to as "apostate" in the official church handbook. I'd like for my children to be able to be baptized at age 8, if they so choose. I'd like the church to stop encourage my future children to disavow my marriage to a someday husband. I'd like for the dangerous messages to stop across the GC pulpit. I'd like for more sensitivity and an attempt to truly understand what it's like to be a gay member of the church. I'd like for leadership to truly consider what they're asking of gay members of the church. Fine if gay people can't be sealed in temples. I don't expect that the church will change their stance on gay marriage. But I simply cannot believe that if I get married to a great man and I actually have the audacity to have sex with him, my membership in the church is dunzo. That's where I'd start.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-2492016591437242152016-07-28T23:07:25.426-06:002016-07-28T23:07:25.426-06:00Claire, I know we're in touch outside of this ...Claire, I know we're in touch outside of this blog, but I'm finally replying to comments here. Thanks for your love and undying support. For others reading this comment, I want you to know that I baptized Claire as a member of the LDS church in 2000. And here she is, loving and supporting her missionary as a gay member of the church. THIS is what is means to be a true disciple of Christ.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-14877536213160506552016-07-28T23:05:12.899-06:002016-07-28T23:05:12.899-06:00Dave, I am simply overwhelmed with gratitude for y...Dave, I am simply overwhelmed with gratitude for your comment. My heart continues to go out to you and your family. I will do exactly as you challenged, on behalf of Stockton and on behalf of all of our sons and daughters who have or who will yet experience the same kinds of soul-crushing heartaches and setbacks we've endured. If I can do anything for your family, please don't hesitate to ask.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-90337507041775696712016-07-28T23:02:05.611-06:002016-07-28T23:02:05.611-06:00Sunny, thanks for your comment. I find that many i...Sunny, thanks for your comment. I find that many in the church are having a bit of a faith crisis based on the November 5th policy changes or based on the church's stance on the LGBT community. Thanks for seeing that this isn't just an issue for the gay members of the church, it affects us all.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-56710111611720533612016-07-28T23:00:26.104-06:002016-07-28T23:00:26.104-06:00Thanks, Luiza! I'm glad this post was of some ...Thanks, Luiza! I'm glad this post was of some comfort to you. :)Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-34032388241485192232016-07-28T22:57:36.669-06:002016-07-28T22:57:36.669-06:00Thank you, George. I wish I would've reached s...Thank you, George. I wish I would've reached some of these conclusion years ago. Interesting how it all works out, right? What matters is that life continues to be a teacher and I try my best to be a willing student. All the best to you, George!Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-64792290864689724172016-07-28T22:56:01.562-06:002016-07-28T22:56:01.562-06:00Michael, thank you so much for sharing what you...Michael, thank you so much for sharing what you've been through. My heart aches for the painful experiences you've endured. It sounds like you are in a good place and I'm happy for you. May you continue to feel peace as you move forward. Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-76973181093529058762016-07-28T22:51:52.061-06:002016-07-28T22:51:52.061-06:00I was promised some of those same kinds of things....I was promised some of those same kinds of things. I appreciate that some are able to make mixed orientation marriages work in a way that brings about much peace and happiness. But my experience is that for every mixed orientation I know who is making it work, there are twenty others who gave it everything they had and ended up miserable. I'm pleased to hear that you've stood by your ex and that you've found a new love. Thanks for sharing your story.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-28356726586572692552016-07-28T22:49:34.572-06:002016-07-28T22:49:34.572-06:00Thank you, Tif. Not sure which Tif or Tiffany this...Thank you, Tif. Not sure which Tif or Tiffany this is, but your support encourages me to do just what you've asked. I appreciate it!Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-55288045621106562016-07-28T22:48:36.452-06:002016-07-28T22:48:36.452-06:00Thanks for taking the time to read it, John!Thanks for taking the time to read it, John!Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-31862007805914824902016-07-28T22:48:06.345-06:002016-07-28T22:48:06.345-06:00Sam, I know we've been in touch outside of thi...Sam, I know we've been in touch outside of this blog, but just wanted to say thanks for being so supportive. I'm encourage to hear about the action you are taking in your neck of the woods. Thanks again, friend!Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-18436881881064402732016-07-28T22:46:40.741-06:002016-07-28T22:46:40.741-06:00Not sure which Melissa this is, but thanks for you...Not sure which Melissa this is, but thanks for your comment! I appreciate your open mind in considering what I have to share. :)Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-67980846533914127452016-07-28T22:45:44.472-06:002016-07-28T22:45:44.472-06:00Just read your blog, sorry it took me so long. I l...Just read your blog, sorry it took me so long. I loved your vulnerability and authenticity. What you shared was beautiful, thank you. I agree with you. Sometimes we expect others to have our same point of view and stance right this second! After all, we're in pain. But as you suggested, we have to be gracious and patient and allow others (who have not walked our paths in our shoes) the time they need to understand and consider what we have to say. Add me on FB, would love to follow you.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-61048522560401024422016-07-28T22:39:16.403-06:002016-07-28T22:39:16.403-06:00Not sure who this is, but thanks so much! Keep on ...Not sure who this is, but thanks so much! Keep on praying for change and thanks for backing those prayers up with action. I appreciate your efforts to be an understanding ally.Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9149863372348528498.post-26851415744301496442016-07-28T22:38:10.745-06:002016-07-28T22:38:10.745-06:00Thank you, Lani! Nice to think that my message rea...Thank you, Lani! Nice to think that my message reached Samoa. Naked Natehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09315324753533335005noreply@blogger.com